47witchyneurons:

teaboot:

beowulf22121:

queerce:

riseofthecommonwoodpile:

derinthemadscientist:

wetorturedsomefolks:

riseofthecommonwoodpile:

humans don’t have enough ornamentation. where’s the plumage, the antlers

i could go for a good vibrant throat sac i could display as i sing in the mating season

Humans have some of the most extreme hair variation over their bodies in the animal kingdom, with hair on some parts of our body a few millimetres long and fine enough to be almost invisible, and hair in other parts a good metre long if not artificially trimmed. Part of the inside of our mouths are turned out to make our lips bright red, we have comically oversized breasts and lack penis bones to make erections more indicative of impressive circulation, and have some of the most complex behavioural adaptations to self-ornamentation for courtship seen in anything that doesn’t spend half its life collecting blue bottle caps. How much ornamentation do you want?

I’d like antlers, as previously stated

I want bioluminescence

Sonar

Flared webbing would be nice

Marbled tiger stripes

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111,940 notes 17 hours ago

chaser:

chaser:

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Most appreciated

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21,593 notes 21 hours ago

switchelsweets:

themythicalcodfish:

pikestaff:

“Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they’re 15” this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit

To wit:

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I want to share some wisdom from my high school art teacher.

In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:

“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.

“My biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Don’t hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.”

Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didn’t limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.

Takeaway here: be as cringe as you want. Don’t limit yourself based on other ppl’s tastes. They’re not you, and you are incredible 💕

130,822 notes 21 hours ago

yournewfriendshouse:

cerastes:

cerastes:

I think a fundamental aspect (though not the only one) of why a lot of twitter people failed in their attempt to come to tumblr is that plenty of them are in the “sassy banter” part of the tech tree, where they think that hitting someone with a sitcom zinger is the biggest own possible, but tumblr is on the “kill yourself” part of the tree, which is the hard counter to that.

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A 2:8 match-up if I ever saw one.

‘your mom suck me good and hard through my jorts’ is such a banger

more replies:

a comment from tumblr user fralexion: ‘I prefer the parts of tumblr that just make absurd threats no one could possibly carry out.’ followed by a reply from tumblr user wheelsbot: ‘"I will piss your pants" "We should breed and ask our offspring what they think" "I will add a single grain of sand to your room every day until you succumb to the desert" I know there's more and it's honestly the best argumentative tactic. Tumblr is not a debate hall, it's a circus tent running on looney tunes logic.’ALT

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45,130 notes 21 hours ago

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13,055 notes 3 days ago

teaboot:

babyanimalgifs:

“My cat likes to walk on her wheel while I’m on my exercise bike. The way she looks at me makes my heart melt 😻😭” 

(Source)

you are DOING! An ACTIVITY! TOGETGER!! 😭😭😭

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20,139 notes 5 days ago

futureevilscientist:

kesslersymbolic:

screamydreamy:

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this is so funny

“He gave me my mail and said ‘Are you expecting anything from Germany?’ and I said 'I might be - we’ve got friends over there’,” said Mr Biggs.

“He said 'Have a look at this letter’ - so I had a look and turned it over and our friends’ address was on the back of it and on the front it just said England.”

Mr Biggs said the card had been sent from a sorting office in Germany close to Gloucester’s twin town of Trier and had not been opened.

“I said 'How on earth did you know it was for me?’ and he said 'I didn’t, I’ve been wandering around with this’, said Mr Biggs.

"My wife and I are absolutely shocked but this puts posties at five or six stars and top of the tree for me this Christmas.”

The card, it is believed, may have originally been addressed correctly and so was sent to the right area of England - but with an address label that fell off at some point.

A Royal Mail spokesman said: “Royal Mail’s team of 'address detectives’ are renowned for their ability to ensure poorly addressed items of mail reach their intended recipients however, even by their standards, this is pretty impressive.”

the royal mail detectives are a weird bunch, and like if it was addressed right it would get right but i love the idea they went “well it’s from Trier so send it to the twinned town first”

Terry Pratchett would have loved this

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58,896 notes 5 days ago

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333 notes 6 days ago

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19,493 notes 6 days ago

theconcealedweapon:

fem-fatalist:

ralfmaximus:

huffylemon:

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Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.

Parks Official: No sir, you cannot

Parks Official: No. They are a protected species

Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them

Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them

Parks Official: If you like, we can– no, I’m it. I’m the ranking official here. There’s nobody above me. My boss? You mean… the governor’s office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye

After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.

“There’s a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be… legal ramifications. So he called us.”

I laughed. “Does that happen often?”

“Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month.”

Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious

Was golf created for the sole purpose of hoarding ridiculously large amounts of land just to brag about how little they use it?

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55,548 notes 1 week ago